Friday, November 2, 2007

of lately

Okay, so we'll try this blogging thing again and see if I can stay within the boundaries of who I am.

I love the cottage look but I also love the Alaska look and feel. For awhile there I became discontent with all my dark oak furniture, my mission style chairs, and all the Alaskan artwork. I yearned for color--more white, more cherries, more flower prints, more pretty fluff, more oversized chairs. I became engulfed in thumbing through cottage style decorating magazines and books, yearning for that life. But it's not my life, right now. It's not my life.... As I sit and type this, I'm looking around. My home is peaceful. It's calm. It's relaxing. It fits in with all the rain we get and the dark and dreary days. This is a perfect look for Juneau and a perfect look and feel for me!

I love thrifting. Ditch hunting. Antiquing. I had become so envious of all your great thrift finds. Lovely pieces you find at the local thrift store or antique shop. Sadly, we don't have that here. We have a couple thrift stores but, honestly, most of the stuff should just be taken to the dump. Residents are huge contributors to these places, so where does it go....? I know I've contributed so many wonderful things but I don't think they ever make it to the shelves but are probably taken by the volunteers. We have one very teeny tiny antique store downtown, that's only open during the summer, during tourist hours and for tourist convenience.... it's not somewhere I shop because it's never open when I'm in the area. So I got caught up shopping on-line. Buying buying buying from all of your Etsy shops and your on-line sales. I had to stop visiting because I couldn't stop shopping. Everyone had something I needed, or wanted, or something I knew my daughter would love. I had to stop shopping because, simply, I don't need any more stuff. Too, envy is not a good thing. It makes us discontent; it makes us anxious; it makes us feel our life isn't good enough. I will no longer envy your homes.

Gardening has always been a love of mine and one I've been fairly proud of. People comment on my "Martha Stewart garden." Yet, every day I would visit my garden blog friends and admire your yards. Yearn for something similar. I think mostly it was the sunshine that was evident in all the photos. Sunshine is not something we have much of here so naturally it would attract me and naturally it makes everything look so much nicer. My gardens my not be picture perfect, but considering where we live and our weather conditions, it's pretty amazing. I will take what I can from your ideas but accept that we live in a different climate and one that may not be conducive to down south gardening ideas.

I love crafting but don't do much on my own anymore. I had become so in awe of all the creative people "out there." Your talents are incredible and the fact that you have time to do them amazed me. Yet, I know that your lives probably aren't any more incredible than mine. I have a good life and I need to be content with who I am and what I do.

Blogging is a whole nother thing. It has arms and legs and little fingers that sucked me in. My days were consumed reading every one's posts, commenting on your posts, and writing my own. That was no easy task as it took a lot of thought as to what I wanted to write and then I had to coordinate pictures to go with it. Way too time consuming! Nothing else was getting done so I had to shut down that aspect of my life for a short while, to get myself back on track.

So that's just a little of what's been going on in my life, why I've not blogged.


Jerusalem said...

somethings just have to be put on hold, mulled over, re-negotiated internally. Blogging is for you - you should blog for you and if it makes you happy! I love to hear what is going on with you and your family, and I LOVE to see what you are doing in your house and your garden. I am so envious of you and Tracy's ability to garden, especially in Juneau of all places!! I love it! Also I love it when you give parenting tips, like about the notes and notebooks with your kids. I would love to hear more about those sorts of things, or the sorts of traditions you worked to instill when your kids where little... just an idea!

Arlene said...

I sure am glad you won't quit blogging, I too, feel very inferior when comparing myself to the others, but I too, like you, remember why I chose to live where I live, and I AM happy and content. I try to see the others as "inspiration" now, not just that I don't have what they do. Also, I don't think ALL the bloggers have quaint perfect cottages, perhaps we are seeing only a small glimpse of their homes, who knows, maybe thier is laundry piled to the ceiling, dust bunnies under the beds...we will never know! What little garden I had finally accomplished was wiped out this summer during our flood, so I will be starting over...and I am lucky to be able to grow a weed, so be very proud of your garden in Alaska, trust me! Most of the cottages you see, they live in California, sunshine every day, etc...we don't all live rains here all the time, gloomy skies as well as blue...they are only showing you the good, not the bad! Look around, appreciate what you have, who knows, others just may be envying you too!

joey said...

Your live sounds wonderful. God's gifts surround us ... it is only the wise that appreciate each precious day. I hear your voice, knowing the time involved blogging. My life too has been on hold caring for my critically ill sister who not only lost her sight but has been hospitalized since August with multiple life-threatening illnesses. I only recentlly returned because I needed moments recapturing my own life. Enjoy this wonderous time, waiting for your grandchild.